Everyone can check out the article here. The rest of the blog post will be about my own personal thoughts regarding it, so read the article and come back if you're interested.
As a woman, I believe that all women should be strictly pro-choice. I am an avid supporter of the woman's right to choose and believe that women, in regards to anything sexual or pregnancy-wise, have the final say. When men start carrying around a kid for nine months, I will change my opinion but for now that remains solidified.
So as you can guess from the article, I do support Emmie's right to choose to have an abortion. However, I found myself feeling upset at her decision to do so. She is in my exact position right now; a 22 year old woman starting graduate school for something she loves. I have told myself numerous times that if I was to get pregnant around this time that I would have no other choice but to abort the child, even with the solid and stable relationship that I have now (which Emmie does not have). There are just too many variables and I would not be a good mother, nor my fiance a good father. No matter what would happen, that child would not stay with us.
In my mind it was completely unreasonable to give the child up for adoption, not because of the same reasons that Emmie discusses, but because I know. I know exactly what it is like to be in that situation and I wouldn't wish this willingly upon anyone else. How could I look my own flesh and blood in the face if they happened to find me and then have them find out that I was adopted too. To know exactly what they are going through and then send them away just the same. But I digress..a little bit.
While I support and am glad that Emmie had the choice for what she wanted to do with her child, I cannot seem to agree with her decision. Her reasoning and logic seem off-center to me. How can you say that you won't give the child up for adoption because you love them so much, but then talk about your selfish desires for your life and then abort the kid for that reason? She seems to say that she deeply loves her child, but then suddenly turns around and says she needs to be selfish in life so it justifies the abortion.
When thinking about this it comes down to one thing or another; do you want your child to have the good life, or do you want the good life for yourself? Emmie seems to think that she now has the best of both worlds and that the child is just as happy as well. I can't tolerate a woman who thinks that abortion or adoption will be good for both parties, both options are just as bad! Abortion is the easy way out, it's the immature and selfish thing to do. Adoption is a much more difficult path and requires maturity, responsibility and strength. Granted, not all abortions or adoptions are like this but in Emmie's case it is.
I am so frustrated by mother's opinions that "Oh, adoption would be too difficult for me so I don't think that I could do it." The problem is, adoption isn't about you. Adoption is solely about your child and the new future it will be given. For some women in this situation, it is very difficult for them to get beyond their own feelings and thoughts (even normal pregnant women are impossible to tolerate because of this). And that is the only reason why adoption is not a "realistic" option for them.
I say this world needs to get over its whole "blood-line" and "but I want to have my own baby" bullcrap. A family is subject to interpretation and just because you may or may not be biologically related to the person should have nothing to do with your relationship to them. How on earth can we justify marrying someone outside your family and not accepting a child from another person? If anything, the young child should be more readily accepted into a household than a complete adult stranger. Think about it.
But this has so much to do with societal standards, patriarchy, class systems, race and everything else that makes our world such an ugly place. Thoughts such as Emmie's and the aforementioned issues are what keep adopted children hidden from society. We have our own problems and are own issues to deal with that other children do not. But because of such a negative attitude towards adoption, no one except the ones involved really care at all.
If Emmie was graduate student-worthy, she would have made a different decision. If she is able to handle the load of a graduate student, then she should have the logic and reasoning to understand that adoption would have been the better choice (but not the best) for both parties. In this whole situation, both mother and child would be miserable no matter what choice was made. However, I believe that the child could have had a better life if Emmie had chosen adoption instead of aborting, if that is really what Emmie truly wanted (I don't believe for one minute that she did).
Going back to my decision, this article has proved a great lesson for myself without having to actually be involved (thank god). By putting myself in her shoes and actually thinking out the decision, I would rather give my child up for adoption than abort it. I still fully support and am so thankful for the choice to do either, but I think my own personal thoughts would lead me to give the child a life. Yes, it would tear me up inside and I would be miserable for a long time but I would be comforted that my child did get that good life that I so desperately wanted it to have. I know it will have difficulty, just like myself, but perhaps that would make me a better birth parent than most. I would want the child to live a life without me, but if they did come looking for me I would hope that I could help them to better cope with it.
But for now, I can only hope that I never have to come to such a difficult decision. These are the good life lessons, kiddos! Read the news more! Ha ha...
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